Friday, February 27, 2004

Because CHIC is NOT a NOUN....

(and other reasons why this week, you may be a FASHION IGNORAMUS...)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FASHION IGNORAMUS IF....

* You're still using "chic" in a phrase, or as a noun, to describe the current hot new trend or fashion movement seen on the runway...

* You think membership at the Soho House New York is still something to be coveted and you go there more than once a month at your leisure for celeb spotting, fashion trawling, or to preview film screenings...

* You still think it cool to hang out at Schiller's Liquor Bar for any meal of the day....

* If you're carrying (or wearing) the NEXT season's must-have accessory, rather than a more obscure, vintage, classic or signature find you've made your own personal style statement....

* If you're still on the ATKINS diet, or any diet for that matter, in an effort to lose weight or brain mass and bone density....

* If you haven't been to, or still can't point out the difference between Japan and Hong Kong on a map... and your only known reference to the Far East is the Upper/ Lower East Sides of NY or the latest flag ship opening in Asia and fashion/ Japanese artist collaboration...

* If you're still pondering the social and cultural implications of the end of Sex and the City on fashion...

* If you don't own an Ipod...or know what one is...

* If you're still using Friendster...or have never been on Friendster...

* If your drink(s) of choice at a fashion event are sparkling water or champagne only...

* If you're still reading Page Six for news on the Hilton sisters, or worse, to see if your name has finally made it into print...

* If you're considered an "It" anything by the media...

* If your essential reading list only consists of US Weekly and W alone on a regular basis...

* If the last time you read a book was to impress a boss, because everyone else was "reading" (or has already read) it or because you were trying to get better dating, marriage, diet, career climbing and self-help tips...

* If you consider Vanity Fair an influential publication for the latest fashion credits and celebrity photos, rather than its content...(and if you don't read the New Yorker because there are no pictures...)

* If you don't already have a custom monogram and are still toting around a designer's initials rather than your own...

* If you're still using French words to describe anything, even though you only speak English and never learned any French....

* If you only go to the movies when there's a celebrity premiere...

* If you prefer your steak well-done and your sushi pre-cooked...

* If you consider sample sales an indulgence and diets a spa holiday...

* If you don't dance at fashion events for fear of sweating...

* If you've complained and thrown a fit because you weren't invited to or were third row at any of this seasons shows, when last season you were second...

* If you're under 40 and getting botox injections...

* If your only contributions to charity have been attendance at socialite and celebrity heavy events...

* If you consider vintage and potential consignment items a valid financial investment...

* If your definition of a "hot new designer" is someone who has been in business for over two season's and was just "discovered" this season by some major magazine or newspaper critic...

* Last but not least, you know you're a FASHION IGNORAMUS, if anything on this list has gotten under your skin...

Until next time....

SML

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